the urbane league

I know it’s late, but given Shaq’s latest single, I thought this would be a good time for my inaugural post. This sounds odd, coming off of a Lakers vs. Celtics finals series, but the last time I had this little interest in an NBA Finals series, was back when the Spurs beat the Cavaliers, and before that was when the Spurs beat the Pistons. I’m not sure how the ratings turned out, I’m sure the puppeteer [David Stern] thought everyone would forget all about the Donaghy situation with the renewal of the premiere rivalry in the league for all the marbles. Kobe Bryant, a-k-a “the proctologist” assured that would not be the case.

In what is now being referred to as a 5-game sweep, the Celtics showed just how superior they are to the Lakers, and Kobe showed just how inferior he is to Michael Jordan. Even when the Celtics played poorly, the Lakers played even worse. The sense of ennui that I watched every game (except the latter quarter and a half of game 3) with led me to question my “fanhood.” I thought to myself, “Be this what getting older is?” But it wasn’t me who was the problem; it was Kobe.

I seem to remember a certain ESPN analyst whom I will leave unnamed saying that if Kobe could shepherd the Lakers to finals victory here, he should start being considered in Michael’s class.

[Just drink that in…No, get all of it, there’s still some on your chin…ok you got it]

You have got to be kidding me. Everyone got all worked up and on his member when Kobe won the MVP (even though it should have been Chris Paul, but that’ a different story), and the hype machine was running on full tilt. Again, in the interest of full disclosure, I will put myself out there and say; I believe Kobe to be no worse than the second best player in the league, before the series started, I also thought the Lakers would beat the Celtics (but that’s only due to my natural aversion to picking a team that needed seven games to dispatch the Hawks, to win the championship), but I would never say that winning this ring puts Kobe in Michael’s class. Let us recap, Michael led his team to 6 titles, and to my knowledge never lost in a finals’ series and they never went seven games. There were quite a few games where Kobe scored 15 or 18 in the first quarter, and then would score 7 for the rest of the game; Michael NEVER would have let that happen. Michael NEVER would have let that game 3 collapse happen, and Michael sure as hell would not have let it happen at home. Yes a win in this series would have given Kobe 4, but let’s not forget the first three came thanks to Shaq, meaning there are a host of other shooting guards you could have put on the Lakers during that run, and the result would not have changed. I equate that to me riding a side car while Lance Armstrong pedals us to seven Tour de France wins, and then crediting me with seven wins.

I understand the argument that the overall talent level in the league has increased, and that had he played in Michael’s time, Kobe would be close to as dominant as MJ was. However, Michael’s era wasn’t exactly garbage, see; Stockton & Malone, Barkley, Olajuwon, Starks & Ewing, and Drexler to name a few. Secondly, Michael was the first, and everybody knows going first is always the hardest. It’s like Mariokart, setting a track record on your own is pretty tough. However, if you’ve got a ghost, the blueprint is there for you, and you just have to follow it, you’re not an innovator. That to me is why Kobe, LeBron, McGrady, and anyone else you want to throw out there as the heir apparent will never be in Michael’s class. And after the less-than-historic performance Kobe turned this year, it seems that at least for now, that’s all Michael will ever be to Kobe, a ghost.

As for the Celtics, I was not happy to see the team win, as the last thing we need is to hear more New England fans, but I was happy for Doc Rivers, Kevin Garnett, Glenn “Big Baby” Davis (I know that’s weird, but how could anyone not like him), and Paul Pierce. I’m probably happiest for Pierce because even though the Celtics had a cakewalk of a regular season, the Big Ticket and Jesus Shuttlesworth were nowhere to be found during the post season and Pierce did what Kobe should have done, and what Michael would have done.

[parting shots]

1. Danny Ainge, yes you “built” a winner but you were a series of unlikely heroic performances from Paul Pierce away from having architected one of the biggest collapses since the Mavericks tanking four in a row to the Heat. Everyone still hates you, and your nephew’s still a bitch.
2. Kobe, maybe you should demand another trade, or rip Bynum for being injured.
3. KG, I love you to death, but all that woofing, barking and chest-pounding needs to stop. You do it a WHOLE LOT when your blowing a team out at home, but when you’re getting it pushed in on the road, you get dumb in a hurry.